Your Step 5 Countdown (and Step 4 Recap) [UPDATED]

Well, isn't this refreshing. The PTW's dark machinery and "magic words" are now so weak that we can openly predict and advertise upcoming Event Step 5 without worrying about cabal blockage! Welcome to the future. Thus, the new countdown has been posted (which leaked earlier! oops).

Enlightenment is the New Orange

While it's easy to get bogged down in darkness and blame these days, just shine it all on and head toward the light. We'll see you there.

Timeline Bucklage

Here we go again.

Buckle up, folks. Timelines are bouncing all over the place. Lookie...

The Archons are GONE

Bye.

For the first time in a looong time... millions of years?... there are no more archons in, on, or around the Planet Earth. The archons are GONE. They'd been forced away from the Earth and were hanging out around the moon -- and were feeling surprisingly invincible -- until they messed with some of the Meowracles' dreams. So, we asked our higher order friends to intervene and... POOF. No more archons. (It was actually quite a battle, but still, it didn't last long. The female archon was nasty, twice the size of the males. And they really did look like that above pic.)

NEXT STOP: METAPHOR STATION

The Event's a-comin', Timmy. Be here sooner than you think. Nothing can stop it.