PSSST: The LHC is Officially Haunted [UPDATED]

Just too good not to share. According to Simon Parkes (with confirmations from the Meowracles) the folks running the Large Hoobah Collider inadvertently opened a tiny portal and let some entity in (we think it's good), and now it's camped out in one of the LHC's two rings and it won't come out! Basically, the LHC is officially haunted. Good luck bending scientist minds around that one. CERN's LHC will never work right again... but that's ok for all the workers, since all the repairs will be very long and costly, and there are lots of sucker countries to pay for 'em: Golden Boondoggle Core ACHIEVED. Da-da's agreed to take a team in there to relocate the being (he's done it many times before), but only if they turn the LHC into a mall. The boo and the hoo meet, and have a glass of schadenfreude in an elevator going UP.

Technically, the above came about when the Meowracles "cat-clawed" the ring with extreme prejudice.

UPDATE 6-15-16: Well, this stupid thing is back up again, forcing down the neutron count -- yet, the Schumann Resonance, and the huge influx of energy we're all feeling, is actually building, much stronger than it was before. At least that's our experience. ERs all over must be swamped with people coming in with odd symptoms, all caused by Wave X energy. If we didn't know the cause of this, it would probably have driven us all mad by now. Looks like many of us are past the Event Horizon of the LHC, having risen above it enough vibrationally that its affects are lessened; small crystals in pockets also help a lot. 

UPDATE 7-29-16: A recent double flare from the sun damaged the LHC. The next one will finish it off. 

CERN's LHC is STILL Dead. It Fell on Its Head. [UPDATES]

Buh bye.

It's official: CERN's LHC is dead. We have it on the highest authority that the PTW (Powers That Were) had instructed the LHC staff to get their (dark) project done ASAP, and in the ensuing mad rush, they pushed the machine waaay too hard... and it broke. For good.

We'd shout about what a titanic waste of resources this all was -- just for a tiny, dark-ET contingent's escape/revenge gambit -- but we'll instead heartily thank whomever had their heavy hand on the throttle. In doing so, they saved countless lives, whether they know it or not, not to mention the earth itself. Seriously. This thing was bad. But now... it's dead. [And a month later, it's STILL dead. -editor, 1-21-16]

Happy holidays to you, unsung accidental hero! The light works in mysterious ways... but mysterious only to those who can't see the direction it's pointing. Maybe we can yank out the magnets and turn the LHC into a giant roller blade luge rink.

[NOTE: Might want to avoid the cheese made from milk from those cows in the ring, dated prior to 2016, we dunno. Be an interestig science project. Maybe it'll make better grilled cheese sandwiches.]

UPDATE: Here's some detailed REIFICATION of the above by Lynn over at Psychic Focus. The LHC's dark mission has failed, which is as fantastic an Xmas present as you'll ever get. Best thing to do now is gut the thing and turn it into Switzerland's premiere mall.

UPDATE 1-6-16: Still dead. "SHUTDOWN: Technical Stop."

UPDATE 1-21-16: Still dead. "SHUTDOWN: Technical Stop."

Crank that thing up to 11, Timmy. We got some celebratin' to do!